


It Hurts, Doesn't It?

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Half Life Fics among other things [2]
Category: Half-Life
Genre: Anger, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: "What exactly could possibly be worse than death?""Being stuck in stasis for a whole twenty years of your life only to come back and find out your friends and family have been fighting an entire war without you, Barney."(Major Spoiler Warning for Half Life Alyx.)
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Series: Half Life Fics among other things [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757260
Comments: 5
Kudos: 121





	It Hurts, Doesn't It?

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

Gordon gave a sharp nod. It was all he could manage after the exhausting battle to get Eli to safety and Alyx...god, Alyx...he could only hope she was okay. Eli was distraught. Gordon was distraught too.

Explaining the news to Barney and Isaac wasn't easy. Barney was rightfully furious with the entire situation and instantly offered to look over Gordon's injuries while Isaac tried to calm Eli down. They were in a different room but you could practically hear the yelling through the walls. 

It wasn't just Gordon's side the ached and stung, but his heart as well knowing that he actually lost someone he considered family.

" _ I have to go after her. _ "

"You can't in the state you're in."

" _ I'm fine. I've had worse." _

"Oh you've had worse? And what if worse next time is an arm, or a leg, or your life? You can't go right now, Gordon you just...you have to stay here."

" _ And let something happen to Alyx? Let her get hurt or die or worse?" _

"What exactly could possibly be worse than death?"

" _ Being stuck in stasis for a whole twenty years of your life only to come back and find out your friends and family have been fighting an entire war without you, Barney." _

Barney wanted to snap. To yell and argue and continue with being angry because he was, in fact, angry. The better part of Barney that loved Gordon knew more than anything it wasn't the time. So he simply huffed, aggressively dropping what medical supply he had back on its table.

"This isn't the time to be arguing…"

" _ Then stop arguing with me then and let me- _ "

"Gordon stop." He snapped forcefully this time, glaring at the former scientist. Something akin to fear deep within his expression.

" _ If you would just let me- _ "

"I get it, okay? I get you want to go after Alyx! I get that you're worried and that you've got this big 'hero complex' of yours that makes you want to do dumb shit that risks your life in order to save others, but you can't do anything." 

" _ You don't understand the danger shes in right now! Its not a Combine problem Barney its something few people have even dealt with before. Hell for all I know I'm the only one whose even been in her place!" _

Gordon tried to stand up and Barney pushed him back down in bed without much force or struggle. Gordon wants to fight against him but given his condition, he knew better than to try.

"I don't- damn it- listen if you tell Eli any of what I'm about to say to you right now I won't forgive you. This isn't a joke Gordon, I'm absolutely serious about it and I don't need that old man worrying anymore than he already is now." 

Gordon frowned, " _ What? _ "

"I get that- I...I understand this Gman guy is sketchy as hell and obviously a piece of shit, I  _ know _ he is because he's what took you from us, but that doesn't mean you can just go out there and fight him like this!" 

Silence.

" _ You-...you knew about him this entire time and you didn't say anything?" _

"Yes I knew-  _ know _ about him." Barney sighed. He carefully sat himself on Gordon's bed, trying his best not to jostle his injured partner. Rubbing his eyes tiredly in attempts to get his mind to form the proper words.

He was lucky Gordon was patient with him. Lucky that learning this new information didn't cause Gordon to blow up in anger about it. Barney wasn't sure he could take any more anger right now, not like this. Not after everything.

"I've seen him a couple times and he's seen me more than a few times himself. I think the first time I actually noticed him was back in Black Mesa when it all started. I didn't like the looks of the guy so I pretty much ignored the asshole in hopes that he'd just go away. He seemed to stay away when you're in a group? So I stay in a group." Barney shrugged "But knowing that hes taken Alyx…"

" _ Please don't blame yourself Barney.  _ "

"I don't. I know its not anyone's fault but his. I just...Alyx is like my sister, Gordon. I basically watched that kid grow up and just- I- just knowing that shes...that she was…"

Hes crying, or trying not to but failing horribly with how badly his body was shaking. The best Gordon could do in his current position was take Barney's hand and gently rub small circles with his thumb

" _ Its a lot to process."  _ he spells.

"It is….its a lot." Barney looks to Gordon. Tired and scared and so very exasperated. Gordon wished he could do more, say more. He didn't know what to say to help without causing Barney more stress.

"Its why I can't just have you running out there like  _ this. _ " He motioned to the massive gash in his partner's side. Its bleeding having since slowed once Barney treated it properly. "You're hurt and morphine can only do so much. I want to go after her as badly as you do, but doing that alone isn't going to do any of us any good.  _ You know _ its a death sentence. So I- we should wait till you're healthy at the very least. Have the doc fix up the H.E.V. suit."

Silence fell between them. Barney quietly fiddling with the medical supply once he finally got back up and Gordon wanting so desperately to say  _ something  _ only to fail each time he tried to use his hands and form words.

So they stayed silent. The quiet eerily settling until Barney eventually managed to fully clean Gordon's wound and properly bandage it up, only hoping some infection didn't slither its way in. 

" _ I'm sorry for being snappy with you." _

"I can't really say I blame ya, doc. Its...its been a tough day. With everything thats been happening I don't-...I don't blame anyone for being mad." 

A quiet pause, he was pulling at his sleeves. Gordon knew better than anyone that it meant there was something on his mind. He also knew better than to just straight ask him about it less he expects anything but a lie from Barney. So he checks the time instead.

" _ Its late… _ " he signs.

Barney nods.

"It is...I should uh...should probably head to bed and…"

Gordon stops him, grabbing his arm gently. Barney doesn't make any attempt to try and pull away from the contact.

" _ Can you stay? Just for tonight? Everything hurts and I don't...I can't be alone right now. Not tonight. Not after- _ "

"I'll stay."

**Author's Note:**

> It was like 3 am and this was meant to be a nice soft fic and then it turned out it didnt want to be a nice soft fic I am so very sorry.


End file.
